Oh boy...

2011 was a rough year for us. Last February, after much prayer and discussion, Ben and I decided that we were ready to add another baby to our family. We've always wanted a big family and felt that the time was right, so I had my IUD removed and we were shocked to find out a couple of weeks later that I got pregnant pretty much immediately. We were elated and spent a couple of weeks happily planning for our fourth addition. Sadly, at 6.5 weeks I started having severe pain on one side and ended up in emergency surgery for an ectopic pregnancy (if you aren't familiar with ectopic, the baby had implanted in my fallopian tube instead of the uterus where it was supposed to). The tube had started to rupture and the doctors had to remove that tube. This all occurred during Grayson and Emma Claire's spring break, so not only was I in pain and grieving the loss of our tiny baby, but the children had no idea why I was "sick" and were not happy campers about having to spend their week off at home doing nothing. We got through it though and eventually decided we were ready to try again....

It took longer than it has in the past since I was missing a fallopian tube, but in July we found out we were expecting again. This time our excitement only lasted about a week....I ended up having a miscarriage that unfortunately was dragged out by hCg levels that continued to rise over the next week and a half and give us false hope. I've had a miscarriage before, but this one hit me pretty hard---I guess I thought that since we'd been though so much in March that God couldn't possibly "let" something like that happen again.

However....God knows what is best for us even when we think we have everything planned out the way we think it should go! In October we found out that we were pregnant again, and this time it stuck!! :) It's been a rough pregnancy so far, but every time I have thrown up and every afternoon I haven't been able to get off of the couch, I praise God for this precious blessing He has given us. We know that God chose this child for our family and we can't wait to meet HIM (another BOY!!!!!!) in June! We look forward to meeting our other babies in Heaven one day, too!

I'm 17 weeks along and still feeling horrible but I think I may be turning a corner. We are having fun discussing names and Grayson, Emma Claire, and Whitt are so excited about their new baby brother. Emma Claire was holding out for a sister and did shed a few tears when we told her that it's a boy, but she's now looking forward to being the only princess in our family. :)

Our losses earlier this year were so difficult but I do think that they have made me appreciate everything about this final pregnancy. We are so very thankful for this baby boy and know that he will be the perfect completion to our family!